Cold as ice?

Lately we had some less than hot temperatures here, in Romania. But I ask you this: after reading the rest of my post, does the shoe fit?

What is cold? (Or, what is a wuss?)

These are some definitions:

+10 ° C

The residents of rental housing in Helsinki turn off the heater. The Lapps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers.

+5 ° C

The Lapps sunbathe if the Sun is still above the horizon.

+2 ° C

Italian cars do not start.

0 ° C

Distilled water freezes.

-1 ° C

The breath is visible. Time to plan for a Mediterranean holiday. The Lapps eat ice and drink cold beer.

-4 ° C

The cat wants to come into bed with you.

-10 ° C

Time to plan an African holiday. The Lapps go for a swim.

-12 ° C

Too cold to snow.

-15 ° C

American cars do not start.

-18 ° C

The Helsinki homeowners turn on the heater.

-20 ° C

The breath is audible.

-22 ° C

French cars do not start. Too cold to go Ice skating.

-23 ° C

Politicians start to feel sorry for the homeless.

-24 ° C

German cars do not start.

-26 ° C

You can cut building blocks for igloos from your breath.

-29 ° C

The cat wants to come into your pajamas.

-30 ° C

No real car will start anymore. The Lapp curses, kicks the tires and starts his Lada.

-31 ° C

Too cold to kiss. The lips freeze. Lapland Football team begins training for the spring.

-35 ° C

Time to plan a two week hot bath. The Lapps shovel snow from the roof.

-39 ° C

Mercury freezes. Too cold to think. The Lapps close the top shirt button.

-40 ° C

The car wants to come into bed with you. The Lapps put on a sweater.

-44 ° C

My Finnish colleague is considering whether to close the office window.

-45 ° C

The Lapps close the toilet window.

-50 ° C

The sea lions leave Greenland. The Lapps trade the fingerless gloves for mittens.

-70 ° C

The polar bears leave the North Pole. At the University of Rovaniemi (Lapland) a cross-country trip is organized.

-75 ° C

Santa Clause leaves the Arctic Circle. The Lapps fold down the earflaps of the hat.

-120 ° C

Alcohol freezes. Result: The Lapp is morose.

-268 ° C

Helium becomes liquid.

-270 ° C

The hell freezes.

-273.15 ° C

Absolute zero. No movement of elementary particles. The Lapps say: "Yes, it’s kind of chilly, give me another Schnapps to lick."

Compliments of an Austrian friend