Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Eupocalypse now - director's cut


On one side of the fence, there they are: eyes bloodshot and craving to what's on the other side. Staring back at them guns cocked and ready, stand the troops, prepared for the worse. Clocks such as Big Ben and somewhere in the Red Light district are counting down to an inevitable and faithful 0. You can almost hear some ominous music playing far in the background.

3...2...1...0

Just as everyone expected, the gates are open and in they start tumbling in. The Zombigrants are moving in, with absolute certainty, whether they are dragging their feet or moving in a frenzy, just like you see them in movies. The troops are soon overwhelmed and, funny or not, it seems that these weird, alien creatures are not after blood or brains, but they are viciously, almost ferociously going straight for employment offices and job opportunities like there is no tomorrow.

The natives are baffled. They cannot simply process the fact that none of these beasts are asking for a handout nor do they claim any help from the local government, they seem to be there just for...work?!

If you could have a bird's view on this, or a game-like mini map, you would see a black mass rushing inland and the poor inhabitants backing themselves up into a corner, until there is nowhere to go, so they get pushed into the sea, tens, hundreds and thousands of innocent, law abiding citizens with no escape but to take a leap into the water.

Yes, it's the Eupocalypse and it will hit on the 1st of January. There is no being prepared. The tagline of this movie is this:

They will colonize you!



PS: several producers were interested in purchasing the rights for this flick, but were quick to dismiss it as too far fetched because of a very important trait that seems to be missing in the real world governments of those silly countries: common sense.